I have struggled with the questions “how am I supposed to be an inspiration when I’m facing my own challenges?” and “Who wants to read about my sadness or fear?” I am known for being able to be calm in a storm. I have used this ability to deal with a crisis as a leader, teacher, manager, and mom. When a problem arises, I put my coaching self to work, get my game face on, and tackle it one play at a time. This week I discovered the danger of keeping my game face on and hiding my vulnerability.

We had a significant behavior incident occur with one of our children. It was scary. Robert arrived on the tail end of the event while the physical altercations were winding down, but the emotional aspect was still in full swing. I had my game face on and, I was handling the situation and trying to calm my child. I saw the sadness in Robert’s eyes. We had gone months without any incidents, and we thought we had turned a corner. The sudden onset took us both by surprise.

When we finally had our child calm and safely in bed sleeping, Robert and I quietly sat together. I saw his grief, but he did not see mine. I did not think I was covering up my fear, but all he could see was my game face. I needed to be comforted and to feel that we were a team. Instead, I felt alone and isolated.

The next day I spoke to Robert about how I was feeling. He had misinterpreted my calmness as needing space, instead of holding in my despair. This man knows me better than anyone, and he had not seen the frailty in me the day before. I think this Wonder Woman crux is prevalent amongst us, and while it is fine for getting things accomplished, it can lead to feeling cut off and detached in our relationships.

Sharing my personal stories of struggle will hopefully help to validate your own experiences and offer insight for growth. Maybe you will feel encouraged to reach out to someone and share how you are feeling. A brave life is not one without challenges or vulnerability; it is finding the strength and clarity to live authentically.