My love affair with Robert Dempsey began with a blind date in 2000 that was contrived by one of his neighbors who happened to be a friend of mine. It seems all of our children had become mutually acquainted when Robert moved to his new home and my friend decided to play matchmaker.  Robert was given my phone number and lucky for me; he called to invite me to dinner.

There are some amusing stories about our first date that includes how I showed up at the door in a less than attractive blue denim dress. What else would a Librarian and Montessori teacher be wearing? He teases me to this day, but somehow he managed to get past the outfit and see me. Frankly, he still has to get past my lack of fashion sense, and it is still something we laugh together about.

We courted for three years before he finally agreed to marry me. Over that time I wrote him letters, left him small trinkets, and slipped love notes full of innuendos under his pillow for him to find. You may think that it is romantic, but what I find genuinely romantic is that after eighteen years he still has them. Yes, Marie Kondo, they still spark joy.

Living under the same roof made it a little more challenging to leave love notes filled with passion knowing that one of the kids might find them, but the tradition of giving cards has been kept alive.

On our first Valentine’s Day Robert drove to my house before work. He knocked on the door and presented a card, Perugina chocolates, and tulips. Every year since his gift of tulips has been our Valentine holiday tradition. It started because I commented that I felt like roses were the easy thing to do and therefore an unromantic gesture. Maybe the most romantic part of this story is that he heard my comment and made the extra effort to impress me with his thoughtfulness.

This morning while I was drinking my coffee and I thought he was preparing his morning English Muffin (I was facing away from the kitchen), I discovered he had been putting this year’s Tulips into a vase for me. I adore this tradition. It is modest but speaks volumes to his dependability and the certainty of his love.

This morning while I was thinking of what I’d like to write in his card, I found a colorful note I had written to Robert when we first started dating. It says “Stuff Robert Should Know About Lisa….” Here is what I listed:

I express myself best in writing. I am honest. I love Disneyland and Disney stuff. I am loyal. I enjoy cooking, but I’m not an excellent cook…I love good food and wine. I am a bad housekeeper. I am a Pisces. I love to travel, especially by car. I like to stop along the way and see new places. I am a romantic. I am very responsible. Children and family values are extremely important to me. I am a terrible speller. I am admittedly impatient and spoiled about getting my way! I collect wizards. I am creative. I love to sing and dance…and I am painfully awful at both! I am learning when to say no and when to say yes…but I’m not always getting it right. I have a personal goal to be more spontaneous. I believe in magic and miracles. I have an optimistic outlook on life. I have faith that everything turns out for the best in the long run.

I am still pretty much the same person that Robert courted and married, except that I don’t collect wizards anymore, I’m a much better cook, and I don’t own a dowdy denim jumper (just lots of flannel). I am still a romantic.

To my love, Robert. The gifts you have given me are too numerous to list. Your love healed old wounds and gave wings to a braver and bolder woman. You are patient with my impatience, encourage my creativity, and spoil me regularly. You are a strong and loyal husband who keeps me upright when the challenges we face bear down on us. You don’t chastise my optimism even when it is misdirected. You listen to show tunes with me and don’t laugh at my offkey sing-alongs.  I’m so very lucky to be your wife and partner in life.