Finding My Freedom From STRESS
My spirit is on a road trip. New and thoughtful people, places, and ideas open me up to a kind of freedom I haven’t felt before. This experience is expressing itself in both the physical and metaphysical worlds I inhabit each day.
One of the new and mind-blowing concepts that have been put before me comes from a book I was recently introduced to by Brene Brown’s podcast. “Burnout. The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.” by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., and Ameilia Nagoski, DMA.
In addition to facemasks and social distancing, this should be mandatory reading for everyone (especially women) to support our health during the pandemic. This is unlike any other mental health awareness, self-help, super-woman, just relax and make a smoothie, kind of book I have ever experienced. Yes, I said experienced because this isn’t merely an intellectual, scientific-fact-based barrage of what we need to add to our life to feel better. These sisters are funny, smart, and they get it because not only do they study stress, they live with it too.
I have been living my life through the lens of these tenants and for the most part, they work for me.
- “It is the ability to choose which makes us human.” – Madeleine L’Engle.
- “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” -Maya Angelou.
- “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” – Mary Engelbreit
These are messages that tell me I have the power to change the stressors in my life and that as a strong and willful woman, I can control my circumstances and guide my outcome. On one level, this is very true. It is the expression and belief that we can choose an action believing there will be a determinable outcome of positive change as human beings. So why do I still feel stressed out all of the time and have a huge Grand Canyon-sized divot between my eyebrows? Why are my shoulders natural curve forward and hunched like I’ve gathered a cloak around them to shield myself from predators? Why do I snap foully at the people I love like I’m an injured animal? Why, if I have so much control, do I feel insecure and ambiguous?
The answer is burnout. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.
Here was the first ah-ha moment for me from the book. I have always believed that as a thinking human being with free will and choice, I can create my own experience. I understand now that we are emotional beings in constant response to the input our senses receive. According to the authors of, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, it is our lack of knowledge about moving through the cycles of emotion that keep us in a state of distress. We can try to soothe ourselves through smoothies, hot baths, eating healthier, or even getting a new job. Those are great and maybe a part of the solution, but first, you have to complete the cycle of emotion you feel that is causing the distress.
The Tunnel
This is beyond mindfulness and self-awareness. It is a fresh approach to the mind/body connection that makes sense and is backed by science. The problem stems from a lack of understanding that emotions have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Our bodies experience emotional impact physically first, whether from a thought, action, or reaction to something. We tend to stay stuck in the middle of emotion (in a tunnel), so our body doesn’t have time to recuperate and feel safe, causing burnout.
The second ah-ha was that the phrase “getting in touch with your feelings” was only the first part of any healing process. You have to explicitly take physical action at the emotion to get unstuck and complete the emotions cycle. To understand this process clearly, you will need to read or listen to the book. Besides, they teach and tell stories so well you will enjoy the read.
Travel Companions To Soothe My Soul
I also have some new companions in my life that are joining me on my odyssey. For my anniversary, my darling husband, Robert, bought me a T@B clamshell trailer. Owning a little camper has been on my bucket list for years! She has been christened Mrs. Which Way, as in “which way should we go today?” Thanks to several years of attending the Texas Parks and Wildlife’s Becoming an Outdoor Woman weekends, I am very comfortable heading out and adventuring in my tiny trailer.
My other new sidekick is a fresh set of Tarot cards. I started “reading” Tarot cards when I was a teenager. For many years, I casually interpreted their messages for myself and my friends when they asked me. It has been years since I’ve taken them out of their sacred storage box. Tarot cards open a door for a visual exploration of your world and how you are journeying through it. Using Tarot cards helps us to interpret our own stories. As we look at the cards from where we sit, we gain insight into the characters, motives, and potential outcomes of our lives revealed through ancient symbols and archetypes. There is also something a little thrilling and mysterious about them.
As I’m writing this, we are eight months (in the USA and a year for the world) into a worldwide pandemic. Death, fear, and damaging discourse have been daily occurrences. I’m starting to see a shift, albeit a small one, as we collectively move through the tunnel of emotions caused by the Coronavirus. The struggles are tremendous, and we do not have clarity in the future. But I’m watching people make choices that they would not have made a year ago. They let go of things that are not working for them and finding new ways to enrich their lives. They may be modifying beliefs, jobs, relationships, or homes. I have experienced letting go of a job and changing how we live and work at home during this novel time. I’d like to offer a prayer of peace and assurance to you all who may be feeling overwhelmed, confused, restless, frazzled, or unsure today. May the troubles you carry today fall away, and the light of the world shine on you anew.
Finally, I’d like to share a few of my favorite podcasts that I’m listening to right now. Take a listen to Brene Brown’s “Unlocking Us,” Greg McKewon’s “What’s Essential,” Jen Hatmaker’s “For the Love,” or Nadia Bolz-Weber’s “The Confessional.” These are wonderful helpers to me right now on my path.
PS: Happy Birthday to a very special reader!
