The difference between having what you want and living with what you get depends on which course of action you take. Are you proactive or reactive? Most of us live in a state of reaction. We are surrounded by employers, family members, and circumstances that keep us responding to their needs. We find ourselves daydreaming about vacations, new jobs, new relationships, and new opportunities to remove ourselves from the demands we are feeling. This can become a great starting place for redesigning your life.
There is a simple exercise I recommend to help you get started. Write out your perfect day. Here are some things to include:
1. Who are you with?
2. What are you doing?
3. Where are you?
4. What time of day is this happening?
5. Who or what do you need to add to your life?
It is essential to be specific wherever possible. For example, instead of saying “I exercise in the morning,” you might say “I take a yoga class in the morning” or “I run five miles in the morning.” If you want to include a variety of activities, then include them, “In the morning I choose between yoga, running, biking, and weight training to build my strength and stamina.”
We typically need to add people, services, or materials to our lives to accomplish our perfect day. Here are a couple of examples of what I mean by that. “I have a trusted caregiver that watches _____ while I travel.” “I am a member of ________ and play golf with friends and clients there twice a week.” “I have a ________ that helps me with my physical training and health management.” “I am enrolled in _______ classes and enjoy learning my new skill.”
It can be helpful to include established days or times of year as you are writing out your perfect day. For example, I have mine broken down between the school year and school breaks because that is such a central part of our life. You may want to incorporate the weekends.
If you have a spouse, partner, friend, sibling, parent or other loved-one you are including on your journey, then share what you have written with them. Ask them to write out their perfect day. Find the points where they align and the places where you can support each other in exploring new areas.
Post this document where you can see it every day. Be proactive in finding ways to work your desires into your daily reality. Sometimes we romanticize things, and they don’t turn out to be what we expected. Be willing to adapt your perfect day as you encounter new opportunities and have tried out what you have written. For example, that Vegan diet may not have been what you expected or playing golf may be an outstanding business activity, but it just isn’t your thing.
Having your perfect day, weekend, month or life written out will help you make choices that create more of what you desire. You may find that you are already doing many of the things you love with people that you treasure.
