Are you waiting for a breakthrough moment? Several years ago my daughter Lindsey* came home and pronounced “I did it all by myself, with help!” I don’t recall what she had learned or if it had been anything monumental. It may have been learning to tie her shoes at the age of 21, or addressing an envelope to send a friend a greeting card at the age of 23, or learning a new joke to tell for her favorite overnight camp’s talent show. Lindsey’s declaration made me laugh out loud, but it also became a repeated mantra in our home when we rock an achievement of any proportion.

Lindsey’s breakthrough moments are indeed the culmination of years of effort and practice on her part. She earns the right to be proud of her accomplishments daily and proclaim “I did it!” They are also the result of her instructors, therapists, caregivers, coaches, and family members staying the course and pushing her forward.

Lindsey has the benefit of having a personal advocate (that would be me) to keep her surrounded by positive influencers and to help her continue to develop and experience her life to the fullest.

Most of us start out our life with a similar team of advocates. As we grow older, the team starts to dismantle itself naturally. By the time we are fully engaged in our adult life, we may find that instead of the advocates of our youth pushing us to grow and move forward, we have nay-sayers and fear mongers feeding us negative goop and keeping us stuck.

Lindsey’s message is clear, “I did it all by myself, with help!” The secret is to look at the cadre you are surrounding yourself with while trying to achieve any particular goal. Are they your advocates and champions? They may love and support you, but are they projecting fear onto you? Success means change, and that is a scary thing for a large number of people. Line up a mindful troop and fill the roster with members that will help you navigate your way and cheer you on to victory. Here are ten places to look to create your team.

1. Work Mentor
2. Women’s Business Network
3. Church Group
4. Online Social Network
5. Personal Coach
6. Physical Trainer
7. Educator/Instructor
8. Community Leader
9. Non-Profit Organization
10. Therapist/Counselor

You may notice that I did not include your spouse, family members, and friends. Hopefully, you have supportive family members, but they often have a skewed vision because whatever happens to you will also have an impact on them. Whenever possible have at least three resources from outside of your immediate sphere of influence to back your goals and dreams.

Lindsey’s most recent accomplishment has been gaining employment at a local fast food restaurant. She is so happy that she works “seven days a week, except Wednesday.” Many of the simple tasks she performs are new and challenging for her, but she keeps pushing through and turns to her team when she is feeling frustrated.

If you are feeling stuck, it’s time to find a dynamic team to help pull you out of the onery sticky goop and charge forward. Because I know, you can do it with help!

*Lindsey was born with an Intellectual Developmental Disability with no known origin.  She is healthy, funny, and an active part of our family’s life and community.