Last year, I made one decision that proved to be a powerful force in giving me more time, freedom, and adventure. The first day of 2018 I began my year with a new maxim “live brave!” This declaration was my battle cry as I focused on reshaping my life. It has served me well, and I have pushed myself to try new things, set new boundaries, and heal old wounds. As I reflect on the past year, I am proud of myself. I’m also somewhat astounded with a few of the results.
The physical results are more straightforward and discernible. For example, I maintained a Keto diet for the majority of the year starting in March (minus Thanksgiving and Christmas) and lost fifteen pounds. I traveled to Europe for the first time and experienced many new cultures and checked a few items off my bucket list. I spent time engaged in coaching and teaching again and felt the satisfaction of helping others. I made a point of creating opportunities for my friends to gather and spend time together several times a month to support each other and share our ups and downs. I wrote and produced this blog. These things show up on the calendar and can be directly measured like my success with Keto meal planning from earlier this year.
The changes in my mindset are not always outwardly as visible. How do you measure forgiveness, strength, compassion, self-acceptance, and gratitude over time?
I know that there is at least one perspective that has had a tremendous measurable impact on me over the last year. The decision to focus on reshaping my personal style and beat back my inner-critic gave me more freedom than I could have ever anticipated. Let me explain a little more about my struggles.
I had a habit of spending too much time worrying about what to wear and how to look allowing my preconceived judgment by others to steal my time and increase my anxiety.
I’ve never been considered a fashionista by any means. I don’t have handbags to go with each outfit. I do not style my outfits with the hottest fashion accessories. And yet, it wasn’t unusual for me to go throw on three or more different ensembles before finally deciding on one that was appropriate for my day’s appointments. Then, I’d easily spend an hour on just washing, drying, and styling my hair and putting on a full face of makeup. It was stressful, defeating, and I often started my day frustrated, deflated and behind schedule.
I didn’t give up on myself and decide to live in a state of perpetual grunge. Instead, I set some new boundaries surrounding “keeping up appearances” in relationship to my self-image and redefined what was acceptable.
This required quieting the inner critic and shushing the perpetual self-talk. It also meant shifting my mindset to dressing for myself with respect for any special appearances to be made in a day instead of allowing a self-contrived audience to criticize and cajole me for not looking the part. I used new self-talk, including my mantra “live brave,” to change the message from self-deprecating to validating when I was struggling. Another popular internal phrase was “get over yourself, Lisa!”
I also made three primary changes in my routine to help me accomplish this goal. First, I simplified my wardrobe to what I enjoyed wearing. Second, I stopped washing my hair every day and found ways to restyle it on the second and sometimes third day without shampooing. Third, I ended applying full makeup every day and opted for fresh skin with a little bit of mascara, blush and lip color on most days. I also stopped getting my nails done every other week and reserved that for special occasions.
I added up the hours I saved by paring back my efforts on grooming and dressing, and I was astounded. I gained over 240 hours of time that I was able to dedicate to the real people, places, and activities that I love instead of giving my power away to a pretend peanut gallery! That is equivalent to six weeks at a full-time job. I can’t even calculate the reduction in my stress level. My friends, taming the personal presentation peer pressure monster has been very, very good for me.
Last year I made one decision, to live by a personal maxim “live brave,” and to allow it to manifest in all areas of my life with the goal of creating a life filled with the people, places, and activities that I love. That one decision has given me new freedom, and I’ve felt it across all areas of my life.
As I begin the new year and reflect on my personal growth, I discovered that freedom often comes from letting go of the things that no longer serve you and hold you back. Reminding myself to live bravely gave me the strength to let go and reach for something new. This year I am going to add “find your freedom” to invoke my personal power and be more purposeful about letting go of the things that are holding me back while living my braver life.
I hope your year is filled with bodaciousness, bravery, and freedom.
What is one thing you will reach for this coming year? What freedom will you find when you succeed?
