Can you imagine leaving your family and everything you’ve known at 16 years old to immigrate to the United States? I had the good fortune to meet a lovely bright young woman through one of my networking events who specializes in helping people find their inner light. Her name is Tram Tiffany Nguyen. She answers to Tiffany, and I asked her if she would share the story of how she reshaped her life. She journeyed beyond an ocean, past her fears of loneliness and learned how to create a life of self-acceptance.  Now she is helping others fill their hearts. Here is her story in her own words.

Self-forgiveness was the start of my transformation.

When I was 16, I moved to the United States by myself without English or any knowledge about the culture. The shock and the ensuing depression were inevitable. My greatest fear had always been loneliness. During that dark time of my life, the greatest struggle wasn’t being in a foreign country without speaking the language, but it was isolation.

Being an introvert, I didn’t go out and actively make friends. I kept to myself and lived in misery. In that survival state, I clung to anyone that approached me to avoid being lonely. Before long, I got into relationships I shouldn’t have. I broke my moral codes and got involved with a married man. Nothing severe happened as a consequence, but I lost myself. I loathed myself, to be exact.

Even when it seemed life got better, I graduated Summa Cum Laude, and everything looked great on the outside, I was broken and stuck on the inside. I might be successful, but I never believed I deserved happiness. Eventually, I opened up to my best friends and told them my dark secret of how horrible a person I was. Surprisingly, I didn’t lose my friends. They didn’t hate me or even thought anything less of me. Still, as a person with high integrity, I couldn’t see it myself.

Perhaps from the cultivation of many seeds of reading spiritual wisdom and being open with my friends, a few years down the road, one day, out of the blue, while driving by myself, a thought occurred to me. “If my best friend did the same thing I did, would I think any less of her?” Without hesitation, my answer was a definite no. “Perhaps then I am too severe on myself.” Just because I made a mistake, surely it couldn’t mean I didn’t deserve happiness.

I realized that I had zero compassion for myself so I did what I struggled to do for seven years. I forgave myself. There was no resentment and no regret, I simply forgave myself. The burden was lifted off me immediately, and for the first time, I cried for myself, not out of self-pity, but out of compassion. I no longer hated myself.

The transformation is almost overnight as if a veil has been lifted. I started to unlock myself. There, I find my inner peace. Life has become more beautiful than I could ever imagine even though nothing has changed. I now live by myself and cannot be happier. Loneliness is no longer my fear.

By living my truth, I inspire others to start their own journey. It is very easy nowadays to distract ourselves. We live in a consumerist culture, and we can always choose to be entertained and forget about our problems. However, at the end of the day, we can’t outrun ourselves. The empty feeling will grow bigger than distractions, and at one point, we can’t avoid that. The only sustainable way to fill that void is to open the door to who you are.

Being authentic can be scary and challenging, but the rewards for living your truth are so worthwhile. Not only you can find your inner peace, but you will also live happier and more fulfilled. The best part is that you don’t have to travel anywhere far, you don’t have to climb Mount Everest. Your truths are always within you, waiting for your discovery. Don’t worry; there is plenty of help available to you. Never in history that you can have a robust library of self-development resources, whether they’re books or videos.

Furthermore, there are countless teachers, masters, gurus, mentors available should you choose to seek them out. You don’t have to concern yourself with how you get there or how long it takes. You only need to get started.

 

Get started by doing what, you ask? Not necessarily doing anything, have the courage and be honest with yourself. Generally speaking, that’s all it takes. If I can go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: “You’re worthy. For whoever is reading this, you’re worthy. With all your flaws and struggles, you’re worthy.” May you come home to yourself and find your happiness.  Tram Tiffany Nguyen, the Spunky Spiritualist.